SPM

I know that this is a bit outdated post because I had receive my result weeks ago. But I had never had the courage to talk anything about it. Sebab result tu, I can't even spent the whole day with my friends. I was shocked, embarrassed and felt disappointed of myself. I barely can't stop crying for the whole day. I was crying soo much that Omma had to checked on me whether I did done something stupid. But that was the first time I cried so hard in front of her. Well, for an egoistical and perfectionist like me, its quite embarrassing to cry in front of anyone. I know its stupid, but that is me. I hugged her in tears and keep saying sorry for those horrid result. They sacrificed a lot for me but I gave them that. Some people said that my result wasn't that bad, but, compare to my sister, it was really bad for me.

 But deep down in my heart, I can't blame anyone except myself. My result was the prove how lazy I am to study compared during PMR. How I was easily distracted to do other things beside studying. I regret it. But, i'm still grateful for what I have. Only He knows how my future will be. If He let me study Dentistry in Egypt, I will prove to Him and my parents, that I can achieved whatever I wanted with His blessings and make my parents proud again.

So, I have invented a new study plan for my self. People may say my plan is sound materialistic, but somehow, I find this might work with me, to achieved what I always dream of.

After this, I will set a goal that I want for every exams that I will take in the future. For example, if I get a Mumtaz on a exam, I want to buy a new bag.

Somehow, I believe that way, I will encourage myself to put more effort on my study than playing around. So, if Allah let me to further my study there, I will work very hard for the chance that He give to achieve my dream to become a Muslimah dentist! In shaa Allah!