Hmm,,

I think I am a very busy body-type of friend and I believe that my friends hate it. I am too preoccupied with their business so much that I became too nosy with people's life. This need to change. I hate being alone, and this kind of things will cause people to abandon me sooner or later. I want to maintain that friendship, just like in the movie. Being friends since high school, and still connect with each other until the elderly life. They already know what is right and what is wrong. They are grown-ups, Nisaa. You are 18, not 8 any more.

Maybe, I need to step out of my childhood world.
But, I don't want to.

Being an adult, is like a big, no, a gigantic step to make and I am not ready for that.
All I want is to be normal, just other girls. Grow up with normal personality flow.

I do have crushes.
I do fall in love.
I do gossips with my girlfriends.
I do interact with guys.

But, I think people saw my interactions with people is like talking to friend like in the kindergarten. Sexually related stuff and jokes I considered as a sexual harassment. Tend to understand mature-talk slowly than normal, and so much more. I feel like I am an embarrassment to my friend. I am disappointed with myself. I am a terrible friend. Period.